ive been torn out by all of the odds and ends in school, its not phycially tired but psychologically~its really great that i can have my own time-- but now its just a too far away dream for me. i cannt get used to be took up totally by the papers,homworks etc,i cant buy it either. "have to"has became a devil word and i have been around by negative air.

these days i keep thinking about a wierd question: whats my own way in life? which i thought is a no answer one ,i never think about "future"cuz i use"dream"to deal with it.

 when i read and correct my students composition until my eye cramp, i help to ask: is this way which i will be in for the rest of my life? or is this the place where i am going? NO, N..O,im sure this is the answer without hesitate.

its just a little better than plunge myself down to the toliet.

i think i have never been as decided as now